I (heart) cheese

We had a great weekend.  We were invited to dinner at a friend's home on Friday.  It was so nice - we visited with a bunch of families, and Jaya loved being around other kids.  They are a mixed family like us - she is Filipina, and he is French.  So we ate a delicious dinner - yummy Filipino food of various kinds, and cheese!  Real cheese!  It was SO good.  Brie and Camembert and goat cheese...I was loving it.  Cheese must be imported and so it is quite expensive, so we've decided to forgo buying it for the year.  We've decided not to buy anything imported whenever possible.  The one major exception we've made is butter - Dad will be proud - we buy butter imported from New Zealand.  We don't use it too often, but it's there for when we need our fix.  Yes, I am a margarine snob.  Nothing beats the taste of real butter.  We don't buy milk, because not only is it imported, but it isn't fresh.  It comes in boxes that don't need to be refrigerated until opened.  The taste is..well, what do you think milk that comes out of a box in the pantry would taste like?

Jaya has been having fun crafting.  Here is a pic of her with some flowers we made.

Raja has been sitting up my himself for a while now, and is thrilled with all the fun he can have sitting up.  He loves to make noise by banging his sister's toys around while he sits up.  He startled himself the other day by starting out laying down on his belly and somehow getting himself sitting up.  He has been babbling a lot - maybe he'll be a chatterbox like big sis.  Speaking of which, here are some choice Jaya chatter-moments:

Jaya was playing with her shadow.  "Jump, shadow, jump!" and she would jump.  "Clap hands, shadow!" and she would clap.  After commanding her shadow to do several different things, she said in her bossy (yes, she got it from me) way, "Shadow, do it without me. Do it without me, shadow!"

She informed us the other day, "Monkeys don't live in houses.  They live in trees.  They look for the mommy monkey."

She's also become extraordinarily polite.  She thanks us for everything.  Tonight after her bath she said, "Daddy, thank you for drying my legs."  Yesterday, Raja woke up hungry, and when I ran to go and get him and feed him, she told me, "Mama, thank you for feeding Raji, he's hungry for milkie."  My sweet-natured little girl!

Just a quick little update...

...to say that we are fine.  The typhoon's biggest impact on us was that short power outage we had Friday night.  We were sad to hear about the ferry, which was actually on its way here to Cebu when it capsized.  What a terrible tragedy.

On another note, Raja ate his first food the other day.  We fed him some banana mashed up with a little breastmilk.  He did swallow some, but he spit out most of it and was more enthralled with the spoon, which we pretty much expected.   I'm a big believer in following baby's cues when it comes to eating solids, and he shows some signs of readiness, but not all.  We'll let him "practice" whenever he wants.  In the meantime, considering his heft, I think he is more than okay on the nutrition front.  I don't think Marei has called him Raja in 3 or 4 days now, as his name of choice right now is "fat-boy."  Check out this sweet double chin:

I love his belly rolls and his chunky thighs.  Jaya was such a fat baby too!  Here is a picture of her at 6 months, refusing solids.  Jaya clearly dispels the myth that not feeding your baby solids by 6 months results in poor eating habits.  Jaya had no real interest in solids until about 8 1/2 months, and even then, didn't start eating more than once a day until she was nearly a year old.  And that girl eats a bigger variety of foods than many adults I know.  (Proud mama moment).

Typhoons, popsicle sticks, and nail polish

All day yesterday it rained.  It felt so good to have a reprieve from the heat.  Apparently, we were (and still are) in the midst of a typhoon that brought the storms.  And although the word typhoon sounds scary, the storms really weren't too bad - although I know there have been severe ones here before, these were mild.  After the kids were in bed last night, our power went out for about an hour and a half due to the storms.  Jaya woke up, as did Raja, and it took a while to get them back to sleep, and there were other things to be done - so basically, Marei and I were up very late.  This morning, Marei took the kids downstairs and let me sleep in for a couple of hours.  I never appreciated sleeping in so much until I became a working mom of two!  It felt so good.  I woke up and got to spend some one-on-one time with Jaya while Marei and Raja slept for a couple of hours.  Jaya and I made a butterfly out of popsicle sticks and her handprints cut out of a old magazine.  The girl loves to make things, especially if it involves glue and her "baby scissors."  We walked over to the Academy so she could show it off, and so we could enjoy the after-storm air outside.  The men, who are both sporting freshly bald noggins again, woke up, and we went out to lunch.  We ate the best fried squid we'd ever had, and some delicious grilled fish.  It is wonderful to live in a place where we can get fresh seafood any time we want.  Jaya was loving the squid!  "More-uh, more-uh," she says.  Raja enjoyed the attention he seems to get everywhere we go here - I think he thinks his name is "Baby Boy!"  After lunch, Jaya napped, and my friend Melody who cooks for the staff and students at the Academy came over to learn how to bake a cake.  I taught her how to bake an apple cake, while Raja watched us and played.  It was so much fun, and felt so good to be baking again.  She is going to teach me how to cook some Filipino dishes.  While I visited with Melody, Marei took the kids to the park.  When I got to the park, Marei decided to play his first game in sandals, and says it wasn't too bad, and he could get used to it.  I hope we'll be posting some footage of that soon.  We learned some more Cebuano from the kids at the park.  We went home and played with J-bugs and Raj.  Since my post chronicling Raja's first 6 months, I've realized we call him lots of other crazy nicknames, like sonny bun-bun-buns and sugarplum bum-bum and shinky bubba and little Raj-machine.  Jaya spent most of this time getting her brother to laugh.  It felt so good to just lay around with the kids being silly and carefree.  After our (cold) shower, Jaya and I had a blast painting our nails.   Although she is definitely in the midst of the "I will do it MY-self" phase of toddlerhood, she was actually content to let me paint her nails.  Other things today that she absolutely HAD to do by herself today with no parental assistance:  get her jeans on (backwards), get her shirt on (until an arm got stuck), put glue on her butterfly, get on and off the escalator (so much so that Marei took her up and down more than once), eat her own rice with her own spoon,  and wash her own hair with big-girl shampoo (but mommy still has to rinse).  She reminds us several times a day, "I a big girl."  She also loves to exclaim in the midst of whatever thing we are doing that she is enjoying, "We having so much fuN!"  (emphasis on the N)  After a day of much fuN, we did the kids' bedtime routine, Marei turned the lights out, and went downstairs to bring Dora and Boots upstairs so they could sleep too.  As Jaya laid in bed waiting for Daddy, she said to me(in her I am two-years-old-going-on-five voice), "Mommy, thank you for having fun with me today."  She melts my heart.  Jaya, thank you for the privilege of being your mom who gets to have fun with you.

Here's some videos (and a semi-tour of the house) of the two munchkins:

             

our little Raj is 6 months old...

Our little Raji-paj, I want you to know some things about these first 6 months of your life....

- I was so excited to bring you into this world.  Seeing your beautiful little face was worth every minute of my difficult pregnancy, and I would have done it a thousand times over.

- You got stuck on your way out on your birthday, and had to go through some trauma so we could get you out safely.  You were so brave - the nurses couldn't believe how well your little body handled it.  That is where your middle name, Ohitika, comes from.  It means brave in Lakota.

- Your big sister used to hug and kiss and talk to you even when you were inside my belly.  And from the very first day of your life she has loved and adored you.  She calls you all kinds of things - my Raji, my Raji-paj, my handsome brother, and lil' dude.  We call you Raji-paj too, and Raj, sunnybun, sonny boy, handsome boy, handsome little man, little dude, and, of course, Raja.

- You were an unusually strong little boy from the day you were born.  You tried to hold your head up when you were barely an hour or two old, and you could push up on your belly and turn your head from side to side on your very first day out.  It's almost as though you were never really a newborn - your neck and back were so strong from day one.  You were so healthy and strong, and we had such a good delivery, that we all went home from the hospital the same day you were born so the four of us could all be together at home.

-You were bright eyed and alert from the time you arrived.  You nursed twice in the first hour of your life, showing your voracious appetite early.  You've always known what it means to share, since mama tandem nurses.  You latched on like a pro, and we had no problems with nursing.  You've been able to go a pretty long time without waking to eat since you were about a month old, I think because you've always been such a big boy.  You have your Poppa's big hands.  You regained your birth weight within just 3 days and have been steadily climbing since.  We love your chunky thighs and your belly rolls.  Your height is always off the charts!

-You knew not only my voice, but your big sister's voice too, from that first day, and would turn towards us when you heard us.  

- You had mild jaundice, and they gave us a bilrubin suitcase.  But I made a maternal call that you needed to be held and cuddled and loved more in those first days than you needed the lights, and you got rid of the jaundice very quickly.

- You love to cuddle, and love to be held.  From the very first day, there were plenty of arms to hold you.  Your dad, your mamman, your uncle, and mama were there to hold you.  Your nanny and poppa and amooma and auntie and cousins all came to visit you soon after you were born, and couldn't get enough of you.  Jaya is still always trying to hold you.  You love to sleep right in between your dad and I, and when I shift away in my sleep, you curl your little body closer.   Now that you can get around some, you love to explore, but you still need lots of cuddles.  You are such a snuggler!

- You are such a happy, sweet-natured, smiley little guy.  You love to grin and to make people smile.  Strangers are always stopping to talk to you, because you just start grinning at people.  Your daddy and sister just love to make you laugh.  You love to get your daddy's attention, and once you do, you just smile from ear to ear!

- You are so handsome.  I love to just look at your beautiful little face.  I think you look a lot like your daddy, and most people seem to think so as well.  You do look a little like my baby pictures.

- You've got a passionate nature, so when you don't like something, you let us know.  You get cranky when you need something, and get over it as soon as you get whatever it is you need, be it milk, a fresh diaper, sleep, or just a smile or cuddle.  Sometimes, you get overtired or you teethe.  You just got your first cold.  And then, you are a mamma's boy.  Unlike your sister as a baby, sometimes you get really upset.  And when you do, nobody can console you as quickly as I can.  

-You are loud!  You talk, cry, fart, burp, and even nurse loud.

- Your sister always wants to hug and kiss and wrestle and rough you up.  You handle it so well!  Unless you are sleepy, you usually just grin at her.

- Your legs are so strong.  You started bearing your weight on your legs at just a couple of weeks old.  You have always loved to kick a lot (you got lots of practice in my belly), and it is impossible to give you a bath without water ending up all over the place.  You often show your happiness by laughing and kicking really hard with your legs.

- You love to sleep, and like your daddy, you can sleep anywhere.  Your favorite places to sleep now are our bed and on me in a carrier.  When you were smaller, you often slept in our arms, and your Mamman was always willing to hold you as you slept.

- The day of your baby blessing was such a beautiful day.  The spirit was so strong in our home as your Poppa and Daddy and our friends took you in their arms.  You have brought so much joy into our lives.  You are such a dear and special little spirit.  Words can't explain what you mean to Daddy and I, and to your Jaya Chachy, and to the rest of your family.  You are such a blessed and loved little boy.  We love you so much!

Happy Father's Day!

I remember when Marei and I were dating.  We were watching Maioha and Jacqueline (nieces on Marei's side), and Jacqueline asked, "Uncle Marei, can you paint my nails?"  And I remember watching, as he awkwardly went about painting her nails, so gingerly, carefully.  Jacqueline was grinning ear-to-ear.  He did it with so much care, with no hesitation.  I snapped a picture of that moment, and have looked at it often over the years. That was one of many significant moments when I got an inkling of the kind of dad Marei was going to be.  Over the course of the last 2 1/2 years of being parents together, Marei has met and exceeded my every expectation of the kind of father he'd be to our children.  I will try, albeit inadequately, to explain to my husband why he is such an incredible dad.

- You see parenting as our job - not as my job that you help me with.

- From the day Jaya was born, you have dived right into fatherhood with the passion and zeal you show for everything you love.

- You are so humble - I will never forget the times I have seen you kneel down to be on Jaya's level and ask for her forgiveness for losing your patience, as we all do.

- You are so gentle and loving and kind.

- You make them laugh every day.

- You don't ever leave them to cry.

- You kiss and cuddle and hug them constantly.

- You do whatever it takes to comfort them - sleeping in a chair all night so Jaya can sleep with a stuffy nose, or pacing the floor with Raja so he can deal with teething.

-  You honor your priesthood - you have given them, and me, blessings in times of need.

- You helped me to bring them into this world - you make my labor and delivery experiences so much better than they would have been without you.

- You cared for me so well after each birth.

- You never get grossed out by kid stuff, or labor/delivery stuff.

- Even though you and I may disagree about little things, with parenting, we always present a united front.

- You are so understanding of my motherly worry/concern/ paranoia, even if you don't worry as much.

- You're so understanding of it that you have driven me to the gym and sat in a parking lot with a nursing baby so I could work out in peace, multiple times.

-You've been in charge of bedtime and bath for Jaya for most of her life.

- You change a lot more diapers than I do when we are both with the kids.

- You are so encouraging of me taking time for myself.  And you make it so I actually can.

- Jaya loves you so much - the day that she first woke in the middle of the night and asked for you made me feel so lucky that my daughter has such a special relationship with her dad.

- You praise and encourage them.

- You always think of their likes and dislikes, and look for ways to make them happier and more comfortable.  You do the same for me.

- You have often expressed how important it is to you to always be involved in their lives, to always be there for them to talk to and rely on.

- You are the fun, cool dad - the one who their friends will love to go see and hang out with.  The one who is willing to play and be silly and fun.

- You support child led weaning and extended breastfeeding, and even advocate them.

- You will read the same book and play the same games over and over again. 

- I love to see the joy on your face when you open your eyes in the morning and the first thing you see is our babies.

- You read to them.

- You sing to them.

- You're good at cleaning and laundry and all the things that multiply after having kids.

- You have made so many sacrifices for them to have what they should - from working long hours and commuting long distances, to giving up your freedoms, to staying home with them even though that is harder than working, and more.

- You teach them new things every day.

- You teach them by example.  They can see in you charity, love, kindness, integrity, humility, a love of the gospel....I hope that they learn and grow to be just like you.  I love you.

Happy Father's day to all you dads out there!  

  

a wonderful Saturday

 My Raji (as Jaya likes to call him) is back to his usual happy healthy self.  Jaya was playing mommy this morning as I put Raja to sleep in his sling...she decided to put Dora to sleep in her mini- mei tai carrier, that our wonderful friend back in the US, Sherri Edwards, helped me make.  It's a miniature version of mine.

We had a relaxing, leisurely morning, and went out to buy some things for the house at the Ayala Mall here in Cebu.  As you can see in the pics, it's huge!   We definitely live in a city.  There isn't much we could want to buy that isn't available.  In the afternoon, the kids napped while we visited with some of our new friends here, and learned some Cebuano and some Tagalog.  Tagalog is the national language of the Philippines, while Cebuano is the local language spoken here in Cebu.  Marei played some basketball at the park, and yes, he still wears sneakers and hasn't ventured the flip-flop/barefoot route (yet).  The kids and I played on the swings and watched the game.  Then we took a trike, which is a bicycle with a sidecar attachment to sit in, to go and have some delicious Chinese food for dinner.  We came home, took refreshingly cold showers, put the kids to bed, and are now going to watch a movie.  I can't remember the last time we had a Saturday like this.  It was awesome!  I can't think of anything better than spending a relaxing day with my husband and my babies.  Life here is good!

Chicken curry

So we had another official "we're home" moment last night, when I cooked some chicken curry.  Jaya showcased her newest helpful skill, peeling garlic.  She just loves to be helpful.

I promised recipes once we started the blog, so here is one.  Although I can't really take credit for it, most of it is from my mom.

2-3 lbs chicken, cleaned and cut in pieces (more if it is bone-in, less if boneless.)

1-2 onions, sliced

3-5 garlic cloves, minced

1" piece ginger, grated (or minced)

1-3 hot peppers, minced (take seeds/ribs out if you want it less hot)

1 tbsp oil (I use canola)

3-4 diced tomatoes or one can diced tomatoes or one can tomato sauce

spices:

~1/2 tsp of black mustard seeds (optional)

~2 tsp ground coriander

~2 tsp ground cumin

~1/2 tsp ground turmeric

~1/4 - 3/4 tsp ground chili powder

3-4 star anise(optional) 

3-4 cardamom pods, crushed  lightly with the side of a knife (optional)

1-2 lbs potatoes, diced (I like Yukon Golds, washed but not peeled)

handful chopped cilantro (optional)

Heat oil in pot over medium to medium high heat.  Fry onions, garlic, ginger and peppers until they begin to brown.  Add the mustard seeds now, if using (if they don't pop and sizzle, your oil isn't hot enough).  Add spices, and about 1/2 tsp salt, and stir constantly.  Let spices toast, until they smell really fragrant, about a minute or so.  Add the chicken pieces, and stir until they are coated with the spices/aromatics.  Add the tomato, and turn the heat up.  Add the potato, and when the mixture starts to really simmer, put the lid on and turn the heat down to low.  (You can add water at this point if it looks like there needs to be more liquid to cook the potatoes.  You can also use coconut milk for this).  Stir occasionally, and cook until chicken is done and potatoes are tender. If you want to thicken the gravy, take the lid off and increase the heat the last few minutes of cooking.  Salt to taste, add cilantro if using. Serve with rice and plain yogurt.

Some notes:

- Any chicken will work, but in my opinion, curry is best with bone-in dark meat.  If you use white meat only, watch to be sure you don't overcook it.  If you use a whole chicken, I add the breast 10 minutes after the rest starts cooking.

- Don't be afraid to make it a little spicy!  If you think it is too spicy from the pot, try it with the rice and yogurt.  If it is still too spicy, add milk or cream to the pot.

- You probably don't want to bite into the star anise or cardamom pods.  All the optional stuff is optional, and it will still taste good without, but it's worth trying to find.  Indians are everywhere, you probably have an Indian market near you.  Or if not, a spice shop or bulk food store.  If not, just omit them.

Enjoy!  If anyone tries this, I would love to hear about it.  

McGrizzles

So Raja was still a little sick this week.  And a bit fussy.  But his grizzly bear cub sounds are just so dang cute.  His raspy voice from his cold was just adorable.  He is such a happy, good-natured baby.  But when he gets mad - he gets MAD.  Marei wondered last night if it meant he'd have a bad temper.  We shall see.  Son, here is a video of you being mad.  For a few seconds anyway, which is all I can bear before I have to hold you and comfort you.  

Jaya's gem for today:

Marei and I are singing the kids their bedtime song.  Jaya keeps trying to raise her arm up to her dad's face, and he keeps telling her to close her eyes and go to bed.  She firmly holds her little fist up to daddy's mouth and insists, "Daddy, you have to have a microphone."

Don't worry we ARE coming back....

...and here is why.  Some of my new Filipina friends have informed me that here in the Philippines, most women are not allowed to have their husbands with them when they give birth!  AHH!  I guess, if you make pre-made arrangements with certain doctors, they MAY allow it.  I can't do it.  No way.  Marei IS my doula.  And if I was allowed to have only one person at the birth of any of my children, I'd choose Marei over doctor, nurse, or mid-wife.

So those of you worried we'd stay more than a year, rest assured, we won't be here too much longer than that - not at the rate we procreate.

One week mark!

Here is the lush green view from our bedroom window...which we generally see at about 5:30 am each day, as no matter what side of the world we are on, Jaya likes to get up when the sun comes out.  Our morning girl!

This has been quite a week!  Due to lack of internet connectivity, we weren't able to post more often, so this will be a long entry.  Feel free to skip over it, we won't be offended - this blog serves double duty as blog and family journal: ramblings of the matriarch.

My very first impression of the Philippines (besides the climate):  In contrast to the multiple experiences I've had in the last month of going through various airport security checkpoints in the US with two children, my experience here was quite different.  The procedures and checks were very similar - the difference was that here, every one of the security people we spoke to talked to and played with the kids.  Every one!  They smiled, played, and spoke to them and made the process much easier.  Quite unlike the usual mixture of mild frustration and painful boredom seen on most of the faces of TSA agents waiting for Jaya to toddle through the security point. 

Once we arrived in Cebu, our friend Glenn picked us up and took us to our new home.  We live in a townhome in a gated community in Cebu.  The gated community also contains ACE - the Academy for Creating Enterprise.  Our friends at ACE, including Glenn, have done a lot to make us feel at home here. 

 After our long plane ride, we ate, did some minor grocery shopping and discovered that produce is wondrously cheap and anything with an American label is horrifically expensive.  I am talking a Costco pack of Frosted Mini-Wheats for over $15.  But I can cook a meal of fish, rice, and veggies for less than 30 cents for each of us. And I have the gas stove I have wanted for years. :)

We slept a lot Saturday and Sunday, and went to church on Sunday.  It was awesome!  People were so kind to us, smiling and friendly, and again, especially to the kids.  Further evidence of the kid friendliness of our new home:  Thus far, nearly everyone who sees me breastfeed has something to say - something like, that is wonderful, or mother's milk is so good for them, or you will have healthy children.  Especially considering the impact of the marketing of breastmilk substitutes here  in this third world nation (Nestle in particular), reducing breastfeeding rates to below 20%, the fact that the culture is so clearly supportive of it is wonderful.  Also, Jaya was very happy in church to see a fellow 2-year old nursing and turned to me and said, "She drinking milkies!"  It is interesting that at even such a young age, she has absorbed that generally in our culture, we don't see toddlers breastfeeding  - because she never comments to me when she sees infants nursing, only toddlers.  

The kids have both been sick this week with mild colds.  Add that to lack of sleep, and it has been a bit of an adventure.  Last night was the first night we had our normal bedtime routine, and boy, did it feel good!  Jaya has a constantly sweaty head, but never complains about it, and she wants to play outside all day.  Her newest phrase is "how-da-know" which means "know how." As in, "I how-da-know to do it!"  or "Daddy how-da-know to do it" when asked to close the door after her dad.  Raja is starting to scoot - if we place him on the mattress he gets from one side to the other without rolling.  I can't believe he is growing up so fast.  

We asked our friend Glenn, as a native Filipino, to tell us something about Filipino culture we should know.  He told us that Filipinos are notoriously polite.  To a fault, because people will often say yes, when they really mean no, out of politeness.  This will be interesting for me, as I don't know how to be polite!  So I struggle with reading whether people really mean yes or no, since I always mean whatever it is I said.   Good or bad - since I inherited my mother's propensity to say exactly what I think at any given moment....

Some other observations thus far:

People seem to love 80's and 90's American soft rock.  We've had taxi drivers who did not speak any English, but knew every word to Bryan Adams' "Everything I do, I do it for you"  and other choice selections from our childhoods.

There are lots of advertisements for bleaching creams and products to make skin fair.  Every Filipino actress or TV personality we have seen thus far has been fair skinned.  In the malls, many of the women working as cashiers wear a layer of foundation multiple shades lighter than their actual skin color.  In the toy sections of stores, I have yet to see a dark-skinned or even non-Caucasion doll.  I found an interesting article written by a Filipina on this subject here.  This is a subject I will admit, I have struggled with nearly my entire life, as an Indian-American woman.  I have an uncle who tried on several occasions to buy me bleaching cream, and in fact, my parents were some of my only adult relatives who never, not once, made me feel that my dark skin was a bad thing.  I know my observations are colored (no pun intended) by both that struggle, and my desire that Jaya grow up with a healthy self-image.  For those of you who like Dove's Real Beauty campaign, and that included me, please read this.  The irony!

Luckily for Marei, people love basketball here. He got to watch the Celtics beat the Lakers live - at 9 am.  We also have a park in the community where people play ball, so he gets to play often.  Back in the States, he's often one of the smaller players, but here, he towers over most people.  And here, instead of shirts vs. skins, it often looks like shoes vs. flipflops - or even bare feet!  

And finally, we love it here!  It was a somewhat tough week, adjusting to time, temperature, and everything else.  We feel so welcomed, and are excited for the year ahead.

Whew!   I promise to be less long-winded in future entries.  But wait, that's the beauty of this - you can just skip ahead. :)

We've arrived!

And it's hot!  The kids don't seem to mind the heat and humidity in the slightest, and are gleefully romping around in just diapers.  Since that is not an option for Marei, he decided on another way to cool off.

As much as Marei wanted to keep the mohawk, he decided against it so father and son could both sport the same look.  The handsome men!