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| More about this happy little dude in the next post. |
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Adjusting to three
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Wild Thing #3 - baby Tama
This pregnancy was a tough one, and the two older wild things endured it so well.
Jaya would jump up and run for a vomit bucket every time I shuddered during the first nauseating half, and for the last half when sleep was hard to come by, she would care for her brother and as I lay in a semi-conscious stupor, I could hear her tell Raja, "Let mommy sleep, sister will take care of you." It is amazing how well they played together, and how they did not destroy the house, during all the times I had to just sleep instead of caring for them. It was really hard for my empathetic little Raja to see me uncomfortable. He was also quite impatient to see his brother, as he constantly asked when he was coming. A few days before he was born, Raja was staring at my enormous belly, and sadly shook his head and said, "Baby's never never going to come!" I knew just how he felt. The whole pregnancy was such a different experience for me, because although there were definitely things about each previous pregnancy that were tough, this was the first time my body wouldn't allow me to "push through" the exhaustion and other symptoms. My body forced me to rest, which meant a lot of things did not get done. It was hard for Marei, and I'm sure Mohan felt the change too - none of us, least of all me - was used to me not being able to do much, and I always felt so bad for the kids when neither of them was home.
I had a feeling from the beginning that this baby was a boy, but unlike with Raja, I wasn't absolutely sure. Jaya, however, was absolutely sure he was a boy. She talked about her new baby brother from the beginning. When we had the ultrasound, and confirmed that he was a boy, I turned to her and said, "Look, Jaya, you were right - he's a boy!" And she gave me a look that said "Duh!" and said dryly, "I already told you that Mommy." After the ultrasound, Raja told me he was never going to school, so he could stay home and help me take care of the baby. These two were so very ready for a new baby to come to our family.
My original due date was 10 July, and I'd had a feeling in the last couple of months that he might be the first of our children to come later than 40 weeks. I also had a feeling he was a bit bigger than the other two - my pregnancy symptoms had all been so intense, and at the end of my other two pregnancies, I could still paint my toenails, albeit awkwardly. With this one, my belly was so much bigger that painting my toes was not even a remote possibility. The last few weeks was rough, but I knew he would come when he needed to come. My mom has never been here when one of our kids was born, she's always flown in afterwards. We kept joking that he was waiting for his Ammooma (grandma in Malayalam), and he was - I went into labor a few days after she got here.
Friday morning, the 15th, I woke up around 6 am with my lower back aching - and my lower back never aches, only when I'm in labor. About 10 minutes later, I had my first contraction. I woke Marei up and we started timing - and my contractions were 2 1/2 minutes apart from the very first one. Under normal circumstances, I'd have stayed home for a while after my first contraction, because I like to labor at home as long as possible. However, I called the midwife and told her I'd be coming in right away - I just knew I needed to get there asap. I took a quick shower and we grabbed the bag we'd packed just the day before, and headed to the hospital, 20 minutes away. On the way there my contractions intensified, radiating down from my back into my thighs, and I knew I was in or close to transition. My body must have done most of the work prior over the last days and weeks in order for me to basically wake up in transition. We got to the hospital at about 7:15, and I told the admitting nurse that I was pretty far along. She checked my cervix, and determined I was 8 cm dilated. She asked me if my water had broken. I replied with a no, and immediately after that, my water broke all over the bed, and when I saw it, my heart sank, because I could see meconium. I started to panic and worry. The nurse, Becky, who ended up being a huge support to me, told me his heart rate was fine, and I had time to get him out. Marei did not know what I was so worried about, which was a good thing - he could just focus on supporting me. We moved to a different room, since now respiratory therapists needed to be present at his birth, and we needed a larger room for that.
I labored standing up, bent over the bed for a while. I was so glad that the hospital staff didn't force me to be continuously monitored and I could move around, They checked him quite often but they worked around my need to stand. The midwife, nurse and Marei all supported me. This labor was so different - with Jaya and Raja, I was so calm and confident during labor. Marei had never seen or heard me the way I was this time - in between contractions I said things like, "I can't do this fast enough" and "I'm too tired, I haven't slept for 9 months" and "I can't, I just can't." All three of them (nurse, midwife, and Marei) got right in my face in between and told me that I could do this, that I was strong, that I was doing a geat job. I needed that support so badly this time. I always have back labor, because all of my babies are posterior. This means they are face-up - the back of their skulls against my back, which is not the optimal position. It not only means back labor for me, but it increases the risk of getting stuck, which happened to Raja. I was used to and expecting the back labor from my previous experiences, but the intensity of this back labor was what blew me away. Marei applied counterpressure to my back to help me deal with the contractions, which he had done in the past. But in this case, I needed an extraordinary amount of counterpressure. He was using all of his weight to press his fists into my back, and apparently my petite midwife tried to relieve him once and I pushed her out of the way and started hollering, "More!" because it wasn't enough for me. (I was actually sore and bruised over my lower back for the week after delivery because I needed so much force to help relieve the contractions!) Even though they are posterior, my labors progress fairly quickly, and this one was no exception. Although I kept telling Marei it was taking too long and that I wouldn't be able to get baby out quickly enough, it was fast. I started feeling the urge to push, and began doing so. I kept switching positions, from standing to kneeling on the bed over my labor ball, and I pushed as my body directed me to - which was very specific. I didn't push as hard as I could, they were very short, controlled pushes. I talked to my sweet baby in my mind, urging him to turn and to come out soon. I got on my back and Marei and the nurse helped me flex my legs to encourage baby's head to turn, and it did - I could feel his head descending and I knew the end was soon. Although being on my back for that short while helped us to make the most progress, it also caused baby some distress, and so they had a doctor come in to be present at the birth. I started feeling the pressure and intensity that comes right before crowning, and I felt the "ring of fire." His head emerged, and then I heard the word "dystocia" from someone's mouth, and for the second time that morning, I panicked and prayed desperately that my baby would be okay. His shoulder was stuck, and with assistance from the doctor and a few short, controlled pushes from me, our sweet baby emerged at 9:27 a.m., limp, white and unconscious. Someone cut the cord and then they took baby to a table and a number of people worked on him, and there were people working with me to deliver the placenta. I fought the urge to kick them out of my way while I cried and prayed aloud asking Heavenly Father desperately to let me hear my baby cry. The nurses and other staff (the number of people in the room had multiplied considerably after he'd crowned) blocked me from seeing the baby, but they didn't block me from seeing Marei. He was looking at baby and the people frenetically working on reviving him. His face was white as a sheet, the same color as the wall, and his expression I will never forget - I've never seen my laidback husband so worried in my life. A nurse came in and saw his face and quickly led him to a chair and pushed his head down - I think both to keep him from passing out and to block his view of our boy. Then Marei began to cry. It felt like an eternity, although it was more like 2 minutes, before we heard our baby boy's cry. I've never been so happy to hear my child cry!
Once we all heard his cry, there was a collective sigh of relief and the nurses and staff parted so I could get a view of my boy. As soon as I saw him laying there, of all things to say, I exclaimed, "Holy crap!!" (I have no idea why that particular exclamation - I usually say a few other choice things when I am shocked). Why was I so shocked? Because I thought I had just birthed a 2 month old. He was huge! He looked like he barely fit in the bassinet he was laying in, and I'd expected a boy a little bigger than my 8 lb Raja - as in 8 1/2 or maybe close to 9 lbs. But this man-cub was bigger than that for sure. They weighed him, and I saw the numbers come up on the scale, and heard the midwife announce, "10 pounds, 13 ounces" and I oh so eloquently shrieked again, "Holy crap!" Then they measured him - "22 inches" and again, "Holy crap!" Then they wrapped him up, let me kiss his sweet cheek and whisked him off to check him for any of the number of complications that could occur from shoulder dystocia and/or meconium aspiration. Marei was able to go with him, but I was frantic to be with him too, and they told me I needed to wait until they could make sure I was okay. I knew I was fine, but relented. I had no tearing, and was able to get up and go to the bathroom just fine, my blood pressure and everything else was fine, so they finally took me to the nursery. When I came in, a nurse looked at me and said, "YOU'RE the mom?!" I think she was expecting a much taller person. When I saw my sweet baby laying in the bassinet being checked, I realized my arms ached, I'd been clenching my muscles the entire time, wanting so badly to hold him.
Marei told me that all the tests were going great, and that he didn't have any of the possible side effects - no broken clavicle, no nerve damage to the arm, no lung issues, etc etc. His arms and shoulder were fine, perfect and whole, and he was waving them both around within minutes, and every other thing they checked came back perfect. Then they finally let me hold my baby boy, and I was so happy and tearful. I was so thankful my mom was home with Jaya and Raja, so I had no worries about them, and my dear friend Amanda brought the kids and my mom to the hospital a few hours later to meet their baby brother. So much to be grateful for! Including not having to have a C-section - something that might have been a foregone conclusion in a different hospital with different caregivers.
Jaya and Raja adore him, and simply cannot get enough of his sweetness, and neither can we. His name is Tamatoa Rohit - Tamatoa means little warrior in Maori, and separately, Tama means son, and Toa means warrior. Rohit, in Sanskrit, means the color red of the dawn - a nod to my maiden name, which means rising sun, and it also means a person who brings growth and development to his family. We've definitely found that to be true.
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| The awesome twosome, in one of the few pictures I took in the last 9 months |
I had a feeling from the beginning that this baby was a boy, but unlike with Raja, I wasn't absolutely sure. Jaya, however, was absolutely sure he was a boy. She talked about her new baby brother from the beginning. When we had the ultrasound, and confirmed that he was a boy, I turned to her and said, "Look, Jaya, you were right - he's a boy!" And she gave me a look that said "Duh!" and said dryly, "I already told you that Mommy." After the ultrasound, Raja told me he was never going to school, so he could stay home and help me take care of the baby. These two were so very ready for a new baby to come to our family.
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| My belly and cankles, about a week before Tama's birth |
Friday morning, the 15th, I woke up around 6 am with my lower back aching - and my lower back never aches, only when I'm in labor. About 10 minutes later, I had my first contraction. I woke Marei up and we started timing - and my contractions were 2 1/2 minutes apart from the very first one. Under normal circumstances, I'd have stayed home for a while after my first contraction, because I like to labor at home as long as possible. However, I called the midwife and told her I'd be coming in right away - I just knew I needed to get there asap. I took a quick shower and we grabbed the bag we'd packed just the day before, and headed to the hospital, 20 minutes away. On the way there my contractions intensified, radiating down from my back into my thighs, and I knew I was in or close to transition. My body must have done most of the work prior over the last days and weeks in order for me to basically wake up in transition. We got to the hospital at about 7:15, and I told the admitting nurse that I was pretty far along. She checked my cervix, and determined I was 8 cm dilated. She asked me if my water had broken. I replied with a no, and immediately after that, my water broke all over the bed, and when I saw it, my heart sank, because I could see meconium. I started to panic and worry. The nurse, Becky, who ended up being a huge support to me, told me his heart rate was fine, and I had time to get him out. Marei did not know what I was so worried about, which was a good thing - he could just focus on supporting me. We moved to a different room, since now respiratory therapists needed to be present at his birth, and we needed a larger room for that.
I labored standing up, bent over the bed for a while. I was so glad that the hospital staff didn't force me to be continuously monitored and I could move around, They checked him quite often but they worked around my need to stand. The midwife, nurse and Marei all supported me. This labor was so different - with Jaya and Raja, I was so calm and confident during labor. Marei had never seen or heard me the way I was this time - in between contractions I said things like, "I can't do this fast enough" and "I'm too tired, I haven't slept for 9 months" and "I can't, I just can't." All three of them (nurse, midwife, and Marei) got right in my face in between and told me that I could do this, that I was strong, that I was doing a geat job. I needed that support so badly this time. I always have back labor, because all of my babies are posterior. This means they are face-up - the back of their skulls against my back, which is not the optimal position. It not only means back labor for me, but it increases the risk of getting stuck, which happened to Raja. I was used to and expecting the back labor from my previous experiences, but the intensity of this back labor was what blew me away. Marei applied counterpressure to my back to help me deal with the contractions, which he had done in the past. But in this case, I needed an extraordinary amount of counterpressure. He was using all of his weight to press his fists into my back, and apparently my petite midwife tried to relieve him once and I pushed her out of the way and started hollering, "More!" because it wasn't enough for me. (I was actually sore and bruised over my lower back for the week after delivery because I needed so much force to help relieve the contractions!) Even though they are posterior, my labors progress fairly quickly, and this one was no exception. Although I kept telling Marei it was taking too long and that I wouldn't be able to get baby out quickly enough, it was fast. I started feeling the urge to push, and began doing so. I kept switching positions, from standing to kneeling on the bed over my labor ball, and I pushed as my body directed me to - which was very specific. I didn't push as hard as I could, they were very short, controlled pushes. I talked to my sweet baby in my mind, urging him to turn and to come out soon. I got on my back and Marei and the nurse helped me flex my legs to encourage baby's head to turn, and it did - I could feel his head descending and I knew the end was soon. Although being on my back for that short while helped us to make the most progress, it also caused baby some distress, and so they had a doctor come in to be present at the birth. I started feeling the pressure and intensity that comes right before crowning, and I felt the "ring of fire." His head emerged, and then I heard the word "dystocia" from someone's mouth, and for the second time that morning, I panicked and prayed desperately that my baby would be okay. His shoulder was stuck, and with assistance from the doctor and a few short, controlled pushes from me, our sweet baby emerged at 9:27 a.m., limp, white and unconscious. Someone cut the cord and then they took baby to a table and a number of people worked on him, and there were people working with me to deliver the placenta. I fought the urge to kick them out of my way while I cried and prayed aloud asking Heavenly Father desperately to let me hear my baby cry. The nurses and other staff (the number of people in the room had multiplied considerably after he'd crowned) blocked me from seeing the baby, but they didn't block me from seeing Marei. He was looking at baby and the people frenetically working on reviving him. His face was white as a sheet, the same color as the wall, and his expression I will never forget - I've never seen my laidback husband so worried in my life. A nurse came in and saw his face and quickly led him to a chair and pushed his head down - I think both to keep him from passing out and to block his view of our boy. Then Marei began to cry. It felt like an eternity, although it was more like 2 minutes, before we heard our baby boy's cry. I've never been so happy to hear my child cry!
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| Complications from meconium aspiration can happen when the baby takes their first breath outside the womb - Tama wasn't breathing when he was born due to the shoulder dystocia (the delay in delivering the shoulders compresses the umbilical cord, the source of oxygen until they are breathing air). They suctioned out his nose, mouth and lungs right away. |
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| Ammoma and Tama |
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| First meeting |
Jaya and Raja adore him, and simply cannot get enough of his sweetness, and neither can we. His name is Tamatoa Rohit - Tamatoa means little warrior in Maori, and separately, Tama means son, and Toa means warrior. Rohit, in Sanskrit, means the color red of the dawn - a nod to my maiden name, which means rising sun, and it also means a person who brings growth and development to his family. We've definitely found that to be true.
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| Early in this pregnancy, I was dehydrated from vomiting and ended up in the hospital - where they gave me a blood test that showed high hormone levels - so they ordered an ultrasound to check if he was twins - he obviously wasn't, but he could have been! The average birth weight for twins is 5 lbs 5 oz each! At 5 days, he'd gained back his birthweight plus more, and had grown an inch. At 3 weeks, another inch. His newborn onesies all looked like muscle tees, and he wore 3 month size clothes for 2 weeks. He is now in 6 month size clothes. |
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| Our Tama now, at almost 4 weeks. Our sweet precious little boy. |
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Catching up Post
A lot has happened since I last posted! This will serve as an update up until now, except pregnancy and our newest addition. (Pregnancy/Birth story post coming up next!) First, I have to say that Jaya and Raja are just awesome. Jaya keeps composing songs. Here are a couple I wrote down this past year, both performed around 6:30 a.m., sung by a very awake Jaya to a fast asleep Raja:
You're my brother and I love you forever,
It doesn't matter if you never learn to go poopoo and peepee on the potty,
You can still share my pillow forever
And we will all love Raja forever
Because he's so special
and we love you Raaaaaaaaaajaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...........
15 January 2011
I dont want to see your shining face away from me,
I want to see it shining bright in the sun at me in loving harmony
Jesus knows us
and loves us in loving harmony
And I will be with you brother
I want to see you close by me forever
I want us to always stay by each other
and we will always love our parents
and all the other love we give other people
25 March 2011
They also got Pillow Pets this year from Madhu Mamman - they still love these things! Sleep on them every night.
Sometime in 2010, before I got pregnant, Raja was ready to transition out of our bed to sharing a room with his big sister. So we got their bunk bed ready, and put them to bed together in the same room for the first time. They eagerly went to bed and we could hear Raja yapping away for what seemed a really long time. When I went to check on them after a while, they were on the same bed, both fast asleep. Jaya had her pillow clenched over her head, and Raja was asleep with his mouth open, as if he fell asleep mid-sentence. In the morning, Jaya told me, "Mommy, Raja just wouldn't stop talking my head off! So finally I just had to block my ears and go to sleep!" What's funny is, outside of immediate family, Jaya is usually the incessant talker. Raja is much less vocal around other people, but at home, or one on one, that kid can converse for hours. Literally. The two of them sharing a room has worked out beautifully. It is so easy to put them to bed, and they rarely resist bedtime. They talk and read and always end up in the same bed, which we don't mind at all - I love that they will have memories of laughing and chatting and reading marvelous books before sleeping.
Jaya gave lots of talks in Primary this past year, as well as singing in her first Primary program during Sacrament meeting. She amazes me, because she doesn't have an ounce of stage fright. She speaks directly into the microphone, with a big smile on her face, making eye contact and is just pleased as can be to be up in front of a roomful of kids and Primary teachers. One Sunday morning when she was practicing her Primary talk before church, she turned to me and asked, "Can I give this talk in sacrament meeting instead?" I don't know where she gets it from, as it took both Marei and I being adults to be able to speak in public comfortably. When the Primary did their annual program at church, they sang numerous songs they had practiced, which Jaya gleefully participated in. At the end, the congregation was asked to sing the closing song along with the Primary. The chorister asked that we sing the 3rd verse, which Jaya apparently did not hear, as she sang the first verse - which you could hear loud and clear above the sound of the entire group singing the 3rd verse. Jaya also started taking ballet and was in her very first ballet recital, as well as her first powwow, and we love watching her dance. She is just so graceful and loves to make up her own choreography.
Jaya also lost her first tooth! And got her first visit from the tooth fairy, who brought her toothpaste and wrote her a letter.
Raja has a great sense of humor. As shy as he can be around groups, when it's just family or close friends, he loves to make people laugh. He'll do crazy things like bang his head against the wall, and then turn and say, "Sorry Wall!" Or get inside a barely large enough cardboard box, and then demand, "Send me to the Post Office!" He also decided to name his baby brother Diaper-Q when he was in utero, and told stories about Diaper-Q, Potty Boy (himself), and Toilet Girl (Jaya).
Next post - all about the newest Wild Thing!
You're my brother and I love you forever,
It doesn't matter if you never learn to go poopoo and peepee on the potty,
You can still share my pillow forever
And we will all love Raja forever
Because he's so special
and we love you Raaaaaaaaaajaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
15 January 2011
I dont want to see your shining face away from me,
I want to see it shining bright in the sun at me in loving harmony
Jesus knows us
and loves us in loving harmony
And I will be with you brother
I want to see you close by me forever
I want us to always stay by each other
and we will always love our parents
and all the other love we give other people
25 March 2011
They also got Pillow Pets this year from Madhu Mamman - they still love these things! Sleep on them every night.
Sometime in 2010, before I got pregnant, Raja was ready to transition out of our bed to sharing a room with his big sister. So we got their bunk bed ready, and put them to bed together in the same room for the first time. They eagerly went to bed and we could hear Raja yapping away for what seemed a really long time. When I went to check on them after a while, they were on the same bed, both fast asleep. Jaya had her pillow clenched over her head, and Raja was asleep with his mouth open, as if he fell asleep mid-sentence. In the morning, Jaya told me, "Mommy, Raja just wouldn't stop talking my head off! So finally I just had to block my ears and go to sleep!" What's funny is, outside of immediate family, Jaya is usually the incessant talker. Raja is much less vocal around other people, but at home, or one on one, that kid can converse for hours. Literally. The two of them sharing a room has worked out beautifully. It is so easy to put them to bed, and they rarely resist bedtime. They talk and read and always end up in the same bed, which we don't mind at all - I love that they will have memories of laughing and chatting and reading marvelous books before sleeping.
Jaya gave lots of talks in Primary this past year, as well as singing in her first Primary program during Sacrament meeting. She amazes me, because she doesn't have an ounce of stage fright. She speaks directly into the microphone, with a big smile on her face, making eye contact and is just pleased as can be to be up in front of a roomful of kids and Primary teachers. One Sunday morning when she was practicing her Primary talk before church, she turned to me and asked, "Can I give this talk in sacrament meeting instead?" I don't know where she gets it from, as it took both Marei and I being adults to be able to speak in public comfortably. When the Primary did their annual program at church, they sang numerous songs they had practiced, which Jaya gleefully participated in. At the end, the congregation was asked to sing the closing song along with the Primary. The chorister asked that we sing the 3rd verse, which Jaya apparently did not hear, as she sang the first verse - which you could hear loud and clear above the sound of the entire group singing the 3rd verse. Jaya also started taking ballet and was in her very first ballet recital, as well as her first powwow, and we love watching her dance. She is just so graceful and loves to make up her own choreography.
Jaya also lost her first tooth! And got her first visit from the tooth fairy, who brought her toothpaste and wrote her a letter.
Raja has a great sense of humor. As shy as he can be around groups, when it's just family or close friends, he loves to make people laugh. He'll do crazy things like bang his head against the wall, and then turn and say, "Sorry Wall!" Or get inside a barely large enough cardboard box, and then demand, "Send me to the Post Office!" He also decided to name his baby brother Diaper-Q when he was in utero, and told stories about Diaper-Q, Potty Boy (himself), and Toilet Girl (Jaya).
Next post - all about the newest Wild Thing!
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