Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

You know, although I am so totally a Mac woman, I don't think you're half bad. I mean regardless of the PC issues I used to have (that is, when I owned one of those antiquated machines), you and I agree on a few things. I mean, I know so many people personally who have benefited from your Gates Millenium Scholarship, and I too, am seriously concerned about the plight of our public schools today and wish I had millions of dollars to pour into the cause of improving them. We'd probably do different things with the money, but I digress. Anyway, Bill (can I call you that?), I do have to take you to task for one thing - that pernicious Xbox.
Bill, my husband is an amazing man. I would even venture to say he is a truly rare breed of husband and father, and I don't think anyone who knows him would argue with me. But your little box of evil has, on more than one occasion, turned him into...well, someone else. A glaze-eyed zombie with little on his mind except, "MUST. WIN. NEXT. LEVEL. MUST. KILL. ALIENS. AND. SAVE. WORLD." And, Bill, I just don't think that's right. Or even in harmony with what appear to be your ideals. I mean, if it does this to my husband, don't you think those high school and college kids you care so much about are being affected too? Think about that one.
So I wanted you to know first, Bill, before I told anyone else. He sold it today! It's gone! No longer will he be sucked into that 360 vortex! He hasn't even been playing it that much in the last year or so. I'll be honest though, Bill, even the mere existence of it in my house could, well, throw me into a rage. My children thank you, Bill, from the bottom of their little hearts. Angry mama is gone! I will never again fantasize about being alone in a room with a hammer and one of your precious little Xboxes.
I wish you the best in your public endeavors, Bill. Keep providing scholarships to those who need and deserve them. Keep doing that charitable thing. If you need any help with reading scholarship essays and the like, give me a call, I'd love to help. Shoot, I'm so happy right now, I'll donate time and money. Just keep that box out of my house.
Thanks for taking the time to read this Bill. I just thought, well, you never know...a guy like Bill Gates just might listen to a former Xbox widow and give up a lucrative vertical in the video game industry for the betterment of society. Maybe, just maybe, I could give others in my situation the experience of an Xbox free home life. I had to try.

Sincerely,
A concerned citizen

P.S. Not to rub salt in your wound, Bill, but you know what he's doing with the money? Getting an iPod. Score another one for Steve! I'm pretty sure he'd be okay with me calling him Steve. You know, being the hip, accessible one and all.

*Disclaimer - this is written (mostly) tongue-in-cheek.