End-of-09 summary post (3 months)

What's been happening:

Jaya became an expert egg cracker.

Andrea came to visit and we had a fabulous weekend.

We ended the blissful year and a half of no television.

We celebrated Marei's 30th with a marvelously successful surprise birthday party.

We had an incredible trip to New York, chock-full of much needed reunions.

We watched Manny Pacquiao win and missed being in the Philippines.

Raja experienced snow for the first time.

Jaya graduated from milkie to milk.

Raja found his true calling as a contender.

Jaya and Raja got a bunk bed. (Although Raja doesn't sleep in it yet)

We had a wonderful Christmas with all the family from SD.

Raja turned 2 and Jaya turned 4.

We had an awesome year!

"But HOW do mommies and daddies love each other???"

Dear Jaya,

I love this face. This face is your serious face. The face that precedes the most precocious of questions and sentiments. This is the face (sometimes accompanied by tears) that you make when you come to a crucial realization, like that not everyone has a mommy who is alive, or that someone might be mean to Raja for no good reason. This is the face you make when you wake up at 3 am urgently in need of "rice and curry." The face we see after the gears have been turning for a while, or after you digest an explanation we've given you and want more. You wanted an explanation of how babies were made the other day. We gave you (what we thought) was an age-appropriate explanation - and that made you mad. You knew (how?) that it wasn't the whole story. And the face, we saw the face. So we tried again and gave you a J-bugs explanation, which was better. (You did go around the rest of the day classifying everyone you knew firmly in the appropriate category based on genitalia). You are growing up so fast, so responsible and mature. When Daddy works at night, and I need to put Raja to sleep, you are so responsible that I can trust you to read one book to yourself, and then turn out the light and go to bed. Never once have you taken advantage of that, although I know the temptation is there, since you spend hours poring over books. I love watching your insatiable curiosity and your voracious appetite for learning. You are a curious little delight, my girl. I love you.

Love,
Mommy

1 2/3 cups (years) of sugar (joy)

When Raja really wants something, he grins that huge grin, nods enthusiastically, and says, "Peeeeease!" (please) He's already learned how to get by on charm. It is nearly impossible to resist him.

He loves to be obedient. If he is 'naughty', he makes a guilty face and whines remorsefully - he even willfully puts himself in the corner for a time out. (And I don't even use time outs on him).

Raj the referee - If two kids don't want to share, or someone takes something from his sister - he marches right over, points his finger, and sternly says. "No! NO!" He stays mad until the situation is resolved to his satisfaction. He will wail and gnash his teeth if he thinks Jaya has been treated unfairly.

Teething is not his specialty. When he teethes, his normally excellent sleeping ability is disrupted, and he wakes every 20-40 minutes - and yells angrily, every time. He has gotten 4 new teeth in the last 10 days. Nightmare. But luckily, it means he'll finally be able to chew nuts and all the crunchy foods he's always trying to steal from his sister.

Raja has always hated to have his nose wiped. Detested it. He protests, limbs flailing, spewing angry growls and grimaces, EXCEPT when his sister does it. When she comes at him with the tissue, he peacefully submits. So sweet!

6 years and counting!

Yesterday was our anniversary. We're still best friends, and still pretty different, but here is one more thing we agree on.



Organized laundry = domestic bliss.

I am so glad to be married to a man who appreciates the pure delight of sorted laundry. I love you honey! Thanks for the anniversary gift! And thanks for letting me pick it out myself!
*There is no sarcasm involved here. I really would rather have an organized laundry station than diamonds or roses. Seriously. I'm not kidding. I don't think I have a single romantic bone in my body. I'd rather Marei clean the bathroom than write me a love note. In fact, cleaning the bathroom is a kind of love note for me. Is that odd?

What did we miss most about cold weather?

Brisk breezes? Snowfall? Boots? Snowboarding? Mittens? Sweaters? Hot cocoa? Nostril icicles? All lovely, but nope. The one winter thing that left a gaping hole in our lives last winter was the absence of the footie pajama.
Is there anything more endearing than the footie pajama? Anything? I couldn't wait until fall weather. I took advantage of the low predicted for tonight (53 degrees!) and suited these babies up.






*The random patches of color on the walls in recent pictures aren't mold or fungus or fingerpaint. We're trying to choose paint colors.

My favorite pics of the week

Visiting Mamman:

A fun free activity - go to Home Depot and let the kids "drive" the car cart everywhere.

A refrain I keep hearing: "Mom, I want a baby sister. I don't want to send Raj back, let's just get a baby sister."

We had our first harvest - this is the kids enjoying a meal with our homegrown tomatoes and yellow crookneck sqaush.

June/July happenings

Lots of significant things happened, like gaining a new sister/aunty and driving over 4000 miles of interstate and Marei getting a job and meeting up with some of our Cebu friends. But here are the real items of note:

Jaya has narrowed down her career path: Dump truck driver or rope-saver. What is a rope saver, you ask? "A person who swings on a rope and when people scream to them they swing and rescue them."

Raja is learning the haka (who knew fierce could be sooooo cute?)

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The great Jaya/Camila lipstick caper of 2009

Public Service Announcement: Rubbing alcohol followed by dish detergent and cold water gets lipstick out of blankets, sheets, and mattress covers. It also wipes off toilets, sinks, and light switches pretty easily.
Carolina, James (Camila's parents), Marei and I tried to be stern when we caught them, but it was hard not to laugh at these two 3-year old cuties getting "ready to go out" in heels, jewelry, and lipstick. Miraculously, nothing was ruined, and somehow, there was no lipstick in the carpet or on any of our clothes. Raja ended up with some lipstick between his two front teeth. And I moved all our toiletries to a higher shelf.

It's been a month.....

And here's the summary of what's happened in that month:

9 bittersweet days of parties, dates and sad goodbyes

17 long but tolerable hours of international travel

2 relaxing days of chilling on the beach in SoCal

2 fun-filled frantic weeks of family time in South Dakota

1 600-mile 24-hour trip driving from South Dakota to Utah

1 week of joyous reunions and settling back into our home sweet home.

Some random reflections on the last month:

Saying goodbye to so many wonderful friends was tough, tougher than we could have imagined. This year has changed our lives in many ways. More on that in later posts.

I was fully prepared that Raja would have a really tough time with the car seat concept. I was prepared that he would scream bloody murder when he couldn't take it any more. He did scream and get mad about being constrained, but it didn't take too long. I'm happy to report that although he may not love it, he no longer regards the car seat as a toddler torture device.

I was not prepared whatsoever for Jaya's tough adjustment back to being in the US. I knew it was a change, and she would need to adjust. I knew she'd miss our life there, and the stability, but I figured, once she got over jet lag, maybe after a few days, she'd be back to normal. I figured wrong. It took two weeks of her being a different child to adjust - being a fussy, whiny, tantrum-throwing child who cried at the least provocation. I will be totally honest, it was rough, and uncharted territory for us. I had to pray for patience and guidance to deal with her, and I've never felt I had to do that before. I'm happy to report that it worked. We all got through it, and she is back to her normal amiable self. Whew.

Our layover in LA was brilliant - two days of relaxation in gorgeous surroundings, courtesy of a generous employer friend. Staying in South Dakota was wonderful - getting to see the family after an entire year was the perfect way to end our travel back home.

I am no longer tall. Neither is Marei. The kids are average size once again.

Within days of being back, we all had dry skin issues. Ashy skin, dandruff, eczema, yuck. I miss the humidity - didn't think I'd say that a year ago. However, it is nice to not be perpetually sweaty.

Over there, when it came to lots of things, we were pretty much like everyone else. Here, there's the labels "extended breastfeeding" "cosleeping" "attachment parenting" "green" "crunchy" and I don't know what else..but I miss just being label free. I miss being in a place where this would likely never happen.

We dearly miss our ward family.

I miss smiles. It became so natural to smile at everyone and have them smile back. Jaya had to get used to the idea that not every stranger in sight would be friendly to her.

We love having water sanitation. I love not using bottled water. The kids love bathtub baths.

We're thrilled to see our friends and family here again.

Whether we get to go back or not, Cebu will always be a special place for us. We will never forget our friends and the time we spent in the Philippines.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

We're here, we're busy, we're fine, and we're trying to savor every minute before we have to say good-bye to Cebu....

AAARGH! Only 4 weeks left! Let's go to the movies!

We've been busy trying to squeeze in what we can while we are still here. In honor of our time here, we'll be blogging about lots of different things related to life here (and there). Here is the first:

Why going to the movies in Cebu is awesome (and why we go here MUCH more often than we ever did back there):

- Tickets are $3 or less.
- You choose your seats when you buy your tickets - before you ever enter the theater. You look at a screen that indicates which seats are open (we always pick upper balcony front row - great view and extra leg room).
- The screen is huge and the seats comfortable.
- You can bring in your own food - whatever you want! You don't have to buy from ridiculously overpriced movie concession stands. Can you imagine?
- The restroom is IN the theater itself - so you miss very little if you have to go during the movie.
- When we took Jaya to a movie, an usher came over with a booster chair just for her.

On a related note, I am completely disillusioned by the MPAA. Gratuitous elements of violence, sexuality, and profanity bug me. On the other hand, mature thematic elements (which may include some violence, sexuality and profanity) that contribute to the telling of a meaningful story may not. If anyone else is interested, here are some sites that give more detail about violence, sex/nudity, thematic elements, etc. in movies, so that you can make judgments for yourself about what media you will allow in your home/life, whether it is meant for adults or for the whole family.

www.kids-in-mind.com
www.commonsensemedia.org

I don't necessarily agree with all of their assessments, but I do love having a place where I can see what is depicted and make a judgment call about whether it is worth watching.

Momma Bear and Mamachie!

Marei and I are really different and somehow, the whole Wild Things dynamic works. Maybe it's because our dear mothers are so similar. They both...
... married big gruff men who needed their soft touch. Big strong manly men who wouldn't have survived and enjoyed life as well without their shorter and steelier helpmates.
...had their first child 37 years ago.
...had their youngest sons, their mama's boys, about 27 years ago.
...have an awesome (and different) middle child.
...are opinionated and honest. They know what they think and will tell you exactly that. I love never having to guess what they mean.
...generous beyond what words can describe. They are constantly giving to us. They buy things for themselves, only to easily and sincerely give those things away to one of their kids. They would give their children and grandchildren anything to make our lives better.
...hard-working. They come home from stressful jobs to run a household and take care of their families without a complaint. Neither of them are ever idle, and need to be told to relax. When they are in our home, they cook, clean, wash - and never once have they made us feel inadequate by doing so, only grateful. They truly do it out of a desire to help their children, not from any criticism of our housekeeping skills.
...supportive. They are so supportive and respectful of our parenting choices, even if they did things a little differently.
...feel the same when you hug them!
...loving grandmothers who dote on their lucky little grandbabies. I wish they both lived closer to us.
...extremely unselfish, always doing for others, and not just family.
...good cooks - nothing else tastes like mama's homemade food.
...treat their children-in-law with the same love and respect as their own children. They are both great mother-in-laws. They share from their vast experience but they don't interfere or try to control. From the time we married, they gave us the time and space we needed to make our own way, and yet we knew they'd be there if we ever needed.
...are sought out for advice. Not only from their children, but many of our (and their) peers go to them for counsel and guidance.
... are tough as nails and tender and emotional all at once.
...born in March, one day apart. Happy Birthday Nanny and Amoomma! Thank you for all that you do for us. We love you both.

Six weeks...

...and we will be back in the United States.

I wouldn't REALLY bite them but maybe a little nibble...

We took Jaya on a date today. Just mommy, daddy, and Jaya. We do this regularly with one parent - mommy/daughter dates, and daddy/daughter dates. This one, with all three of us - it was a rare treat. I adore being the mom of two. I also love having the chance to just enjoy my kids individually. It's so...relaxing, to have just one at a time. And sometimes I am so overwhelmed by how precious and darling they are that having them one at a time means I can focus and not keel over from the paralyzing adorableness. Seriously. Sometimes they are so darling I have to repress the urge to squeeze and bite them. Does anyone else suffer from the intense cuteness? Am I the only one?
Kissing is a good outlet for the intense cuteness attack. These two must get kissed 10,000 times a day. Thankfully, Raja thrives on it, and Jaya does too, most of the time. Sometimes she merely tolerates it, allowing hugs and kisses like an uppity queen allowing peasants to kiss her royal ring. In true capricious three-year-old form, other days she wants nothing but cuddles and kisses, massages and hugs. And both the kids, (and the dad) are cuddly sleepers. I love it, even though sometimes I wake up in the morning sweating (in an air conditioned room) in a tangle of arms and legs, because I swear, the three other Wild Things emanate more heat from their heads than your average furnace.

Jaya recently:
After coughing, with alarm , "Oh NO MOM! I am coughing again, that means the germs are coming back from the dead! They are coming back from the DEAD and again I will be so sick. I better get a blessing."

Raja recently:
Walking around, bemoaning something, but not really all out crying. He keeps wandering around, grumbling, not appeased with offers of crackers or toys. Everyone asking him, "Raja, what's wrong? What do you want?" He spots me from the corner of his eye, crawls up on my lap, yanks my shirt down, points at my cleavage and says, "THAT!" With that huge toothy grin on his face, of course.

Whenever Raja is upset, Jaya tries to fix it - with hugs, kisses, words, and gifts. Today, Jaya tripped and fell on the floor and started to wail. That is, until Raja waddled over and patted her shoulders and then, squatted down and leaned in so he could kiss it all better.
And yes, first I was paralyzed by the intense cuteness, and then I had to repress the urge to just take them both in my arms and just bite it out of them. Like I could somehow save the sweetness of that moment in my body and pull it back out it at a later time when I needed it, perhaps years from now, when they're not so little and maybe not so charming. But I know, blogging and kissing is better than biting and squeezing.

The two snuggle-bugs - 10 minutes after we'd laid them down on opposite ends of the bed.


Raja - in a hand me down shirt and name from his sister.


Jaya enjoying our lunch date.

Reason two million and one why Marei is just awesome.

...because he always gives me the last bite. Always. Even it is the last morsel of the most delish dessert ever, sticky rice with coconut ice cream - he always gives me the last bite. What a man.

I am already plotting how I will make this amazing concoction from scratch back in the US, and yes, YOU are invited to come and have some. Warm sweet sticky rice with coconut-y creamy cold goodness topped with chopped peanuts and crispy puffed rice.....oooohhhhh...

*and yes, I will be posting more again. We've been busy and I've been neglectful, I know.

Wild Things Facial Expression Encyclopedia Part I

"Yes?" - used for humoring adults.

"Eyebrows" - used to indicate mild frustration or just plain sassiness.

"Giggle" - Used when remembering that she is actually only three and prone to silliness and giggling fits.

"Yuck" - used when becoming painfully aware of being less than pristine.

"Hee Hee!" - used for excitement, and anticipation.

"ME!" - used when accomplishing something daring, usually alone.

"YOU!" - used when needing assistance to get out of whatever situation "ME!" got him into.

"Whoa" - used most often when watching big kids do things he wants to do.

"most endearing expression ever"- Used when he wants someone or something, before he is upset enough about it to be mad or sad.

14 months of drool and bliss

Raja, I love how you're learning to be so independent, but you still love cuddles.

I love that you get this much joy out of things like feeding someone else.

I love that you adore your daddy.

I love your mad faces.

I love how strong and determined you are.

I love how it's always your big sis you want to play with, sit by, and kiss good night first.

I love every single part of your perfect little face. (and I love this picture so much I'm using it again, even though your dad calls it a re-run).

Battery-powered spew

It was a quiet Sunday evening in the Wild Things home. Marei and I were talking, and the kids were playing quietly.
Suddenly, Jaya runs over to me with a panicked look on her face. It was that look - the guilty face...
"Mama, I did something bad! I swallowed the battery! We have to get it OUT or I will get a HEADACHE!!!!!!"
(Unbeknownst to us, she had been "fixing" a toy cell phone. She'd had the phone in one hand, battery cover in the other, and the small round button battery of the toy in her mouth - and then, well, you know).
We jumped in a taxi and went to the hospital emergency room to get her an X-ray. A button battery that gets lodged in a crevice in the esophagus can burn a hole and cause serious damage. I was pretty sure it was past her esophagus, because she was in no pain (save the self-inflicted agony of being naughty), but we needed to check it out just in case. (Information courtesy of the 24 hour battery ingestion hotline and a Skype phone).
The initial X-ray indicated it was already in her stomach, which was good news. Since we had no way of knowing for sure how intact the battery was, or how intact it would stay, the concern was that it could leak into her system and cause poisoning. We decided to go ahead and admit her so that we could monitor the battery's progress through the length of her digestive system. Daddy stayed with her, and I went home with Raja. She did so well! Her only complaint was having to wear diapers, since every bowel movement needed to be caught and inspected for said battery. She and daddy had a solid, if short, night of sleep.
I, on the other hand, tossed and turned all night. In the morning, I left Raja at home with Jam and went to the hospital. At this point the battery was in her lower right small intestine. After spending some time with her and Marei, I went home to find Raja in the throes of a vicious but short-lived stomach flu that had been going around. A few bouts of projectile vomiting later, I called Marei and we decided that if the evening X-ray showed that the battery was still moving along and she had no symptoms of poisoning, we'd bring her home, along with some diapers and a box of disposable gloves.
Throughout the day, I felt awful - my poor son was so miserable, and I clearly needed and wanted to be with him, as I knew breastmilk would keep him hydrated and get him back to health quickly, but Jaya and I had never been apart for so long. I knew she'd miss me, and while she did cry on the phone asking for me, reminding her that Raja was sick and asking her to pray for him calmed her down. She was well taken care of by her beloved Daddy, and she had six visitors and a bouquet of flowers delivered by friends, all in her one day at the hospital.
By late evening, Raja stopped vomiting and was sleeping peacefully. The phone rang, and I heard a delighted "Mama! I pooped the battery! I pooped it out Mama! Can you come see us now? Can we all go home?"
Jam had offered to stay and help, so I left my sweet little worn out boy at home and went to pick up Marei and my happy battery-free child. I walked into her room and was received with a big grin. After a gleeful recounting of how she pooped out the battery, she looked up at me with those big eyes and a certain look, and there it was - the now all-too familar shudder, shake, and torrential outpouring of yuck. The virus had apparently decided to wait for the exodus of the battery and the arrival of the mother before making its attack. For the next three hours, Marei and I dealt with an absolutely horrific check out process (it felt like we were convicted felons trying to convince the warden to let us out of prison!) and caring for an absolutely exhausted miserable Jaya, who just wanted to be home asleep. We finally left at midnight, and made it through a taxi ride vomit-free. Thankfully, Raja had stayed asleep, and his little radar went off when we arrived and he woke up, happy to see us all. After showers and a little more forceful regurgitation, we were once again a puke-free family. The vomit-fest was even shorter-lived for Jaya then for Raja - perhaps because my body had already made antibodies in response to Raja. All four of us were utterly exhausted and fell asleep. But it wasn't over yet. Phase two of the virus' attack was diarrhea. Really stinky diarrhea. I am dead serious when I say that Raja's 4 am diaper change was the stinkiest diaper in Wild Things history. Maybe even in history, period.
It's been a long two days, and I am so excited that 1) all four of us are under the same roof and 2) bodily functions are once again in the normal range. It is amazing how much help we received from friends in such a short span of time. Jaya had visitors, got fruit and flowers, Raja received a blessing even though Marei was at the hospital, Jam stayed, Lyn brought coloring books and fruit and a much-needed opportunity for Marei to go take care of money, and most of all, our children are safe, happy and healthy...we are so very very fortunate.
I will say one thing though, that was one expensive battery. Good thing Jaya made sure we brought it home - "Mama, let's go clean it off so I can put it back in my phone, alright?"
Sheesh.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com